Seahorse Papa: Transgender IUI/IVF Journey

Stamford, CT (US)
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Created 5 months ago
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Fertility Treatments

Seahorse Papa: Transgender IUI/IVF Journey

by RJ Alex

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  • $6,000.00

    Fundraiser Goal
  • $0.00

    Funds Raised
  • 206

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Stamford, CT (US)

RJ Alex is organizing this fundraiser.

Campaign Story

Journey to Salem: Transgender IVF Journey

Hello All,
My name is Rory! For those who don’t know me, I was assigned female at birth. I identify as a trans male. Ever since I was young, I wanted to be a parent. I would ask my mother non stop for baby dolls, especially the ones that you could feed and it’ll come out their tush! I started working as an assistant daycare teacher ever since my senior year of high school. I currently go to school for Mortuary Science at AAMI.
When I decided to transition to male, I was afraid my dreams of being a parent would plummet. But, I knew I had to do what was right for myself, to make myself happy and make myself comfortable in my own skin.
Recently, I’ve talked with doctors, family and friends, about carrying my own child. For those who are not educated about LGBTQ+ fertility, yes, it is possible for me to carry my own child even after being on hormones for 4+ years. I was afraid of being shamed for being masculine presenting and pregnant. I was afraid of what my peers and family would think about me. I’m so happy to say that everyone has been super supportive and I live in a great state that supports my needs and desires. There’s so many resources and so many people who want to help. The downside: Cost. My insurance currently does not cover IVF. It covers most of my doctors visits, my medications, but it does not cover the procedure itself. I am also dipping into my savings as well.
You might have many questions like:
Why did you transition if you wanted to get pregnant?
Wouldn’t pregnancy make you gender dysphoric?

A few things:
Being pregnant doesn’t change me being a trans man. A lot of people get confused on why I fought so hard to become a man, and be seen as a man but now trying to do everything in my power for something appeared to define womanhood; getting pregnant and having a baby.
There’s something about growing a human, a human that is part of you, that is so endearing.
The process and the idea itself wasn’t easy to fathom. I always would ask myself, why do I want to put myself through so much physically and emotionally?
When I had my first appointment to start Testosterone, I thought to myself, should I postpone this if I want to have children? Even when I got top surgery, I thought I was making a mistake of potentially being able to chest feed my future baby.

But I decided it would be careless to wait to have a baby because how would I give my baby the love it needed if I, myself, were unhappy and disoriented.
Many people might ask: why not adopt? Why not get a surrogate? And in turn, I’ll say, why ask me that? Do straight couples get asked that when they tell people they want to try for a baby?
I want to use my journey to continue to inspire those like me. Whether they’re looking to transition but scared of not being a parent or they have started their transition journey but want to have children of their own soon. I want them to know that it’s okay to want to carry a baby and be a man. I want them to know that it’s okay to be scared. It’s very mindful to be aware of what you’re getting yourself into. Everything surrounding birth and pregnancy is catered to cis women and that’s okay.
You have to have a mindset that helps you. And mine is focused on my baby. I am doing everything for my child. I am putting myself through pain, I am putting myself through a struggle for my child. And I know once they are born and I hold them for the first time, it will all be worth it.
I am glad I am a man, I am glad I am a trans man, I am glad I have a uterus and the capacity and capability of carrying a baby.

Please help me be the Seahorse papa I have always wanted to be.
Thank you so much in advance!