Campaign Story

I want to share our journey with you. It definitely has been a bumpy road.
Here is our fertility journey:

My name is Mary Kate and my husband’s name is Ian. We have been trying to have a baby for 10+ years. We live in NJ. My husband and I have both have been through fertility.

My husband is transgender FTM (female to male) and went into fertility first in PA for about 2 years before he started his transition. He was able to do IUI for four cycles. He got pregnant once. He had an miscarriage. The doctors told us before we went on vacation. It was hard on both of us because we lost Kayden on a ship at sea. So we don’t have a resting place for Kayden. We don’t have Kayden’s ashes. We don’t have anything.

Before I was put on Ian’s insurance so that the majority of the IUI treatment would be covered. We found an online forum that connected you with other people of similar interests. We were looking for a sperm donor so we could do an at- home-insemination. We were able to find someone. We met with this person 4 times over a year and a half. All were unsuccessful to become pregnant.

Meanwhile we contacted foster and adoption agencies in the county where we were located also adoption agencies. DCF (Department of Children and Families) kept us going back and forth with the them for over 3+ years. Come to find out they never put us in their system. They turned us down because of my disability. I have Epilepsy. I was diagnosed when I was 3 years old. My seizures have been controlled by medicine since then.

Afterwards, I went through fertility for about three and a half years in NJ. I have PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome) which caused me to miss or have irregular menstrual periods and infertility. I have done eight IUI cycles. I was pregnant once. The pregnancy ended in a late miscarriage. Again the miscarriage of Blu weighed heavy on both of us. I’ve had to have a D&C because I became very sickly. We do have her ashes and they are in a display case and jewely. Even though we put our life savings in having a baby. Between copays for doctor visits, donor sperm and medicine plus travel expenses, we still haven’t given up and are still pushing forward.

Again, we started in-home insemination with another person. Still no BFP (big fat positive). Right afterwards, we had a female friend that offered to have our baby but as a surrogate. She did not want her eggs used for personal reasons. Surrogacy done at a fertility clinic are as much or more expensive then IVF.

Now we are at a stand still with our journey. We are trying to find someone else who will donate their sperm for another in-home-insemination. But it is difficult to find a person to help us and we have gotten a lot of “No’s”. We are trying to get in contact with DCF in the new county we live in but because of short staff and COVID restrictions we haven’t been able to talk to anyone yet. We have put in for grants but haven’t been chosen as if yet. Also going back to a fertility clinic is out of question because we are not financially stable for our next step, which is IVF.

We have been fundraising to get to our goal for IVF. So far in 2 years we only have raised 10% of the goal amount. The ways we have fundraised are our fundraising page, Facebook page dedicated only to our fertility journey (Kayden & Blu – My Angel Babies), selling candy locally and also have had our story published in LoveWhatMatters.com. We know there is a baby at the end of the tunnel. And like I’ve said before, we still haven’t given up.