Campaign Story

My Vanessa Ross and I am married to Derrick Ross. We met 5 years again and knew right away that we were meant for each other. We’ve been married a year and half and our love for each other grows stronger with each passing year. That is the highlight of our story, but let me give you a bit about my past. I was in a car accident at the age of 15 and was left partially paralyzed which sounds bad but the worst part is what the eye can’t see. I also had severe internal damage to my organs and as a result have had 6 abdominal surgeries with the last one in 2010 which resulted in my stomach wall being held together with mesh. Each surgery had to do with intestinal issues and each surgery resulted in my stomach wall struggling to heal properly due to poor blood circulation with each surgery. My last surgery I was told I can’t afford anymore surgeries on my stomach because the wounds might night heal resulting in a permanent wound vacuum. This scared the crap out of me. I became pregnant 3 times since my injury and each time resulted in a traumatic event. The first I carried high risk and gave birth prematurely. My daughter was born with a rare liver disease called bilirubin atresia and she passed away at 6 months after being on a transplant list for a month or so. The second resulted in an eptopic pregnancy in 2010, this was the start of a year of being home bound and in and out of hospitals due to 2 major abdominal surgeries back to back. Due to the amount of scar tissue I have, the doctors couldn’t perform a quick non invasive surgery to save me, they had to cut me open from below my belly button to mid chest (length of original scar). My stomach had a hard time healing, where stitches were the hole wound not close. One of those holes resulted in me having a fistula and getting an infection… back to the hospital and another major surgery cut open top to bottom again with more intestine cut out. I was out of work for a year and healing. This made me realize a C section would be dangerous as well considering what the doctors had to do to get to a save me from the eptopic. The third took place in 2013 and I gave birth to the daughter I have now who is 9 years old, Isabella. I was so scared the whole time I was pregnant knowing the risk I carried. She was born prematurely as well, shortly after giving birth I bled out resulting in code blue. My life was spared yet again. I am so thankful for my daughter but each pregnancy was not in the ideal situation as I was not in an ideal head place until after I had Isabella. I was in very toxic abusive relationships that were not ideal to raise a child in. A little about Derrick past, he is an Army Veteran who since childhood wanted to join the military to protect our country. This was fueled after 9/11 and at the age of 18 he enlisted for the army. He was blown up while serving in Afghanistan by an IUD in 2009 and spent many years trying to save his foot. He made the choice to have it amputated in order to have a better quality of life, in which he did. But was not able to escape PTSD as his identity as he knew it was stripped away. We met both striving to rehabilitate to a new level of rehabilitation. We were past living unhealthy lives and suffering and ready to become active athletes again regardless of missing a limb or being partially paralyzed. This is when we met at The Adaptive Training Foundation (ATF) , a gym geared towards recalibrating you from what felt like a broken lost individual to one living a healthy and active life again. Derrick and I were friends first and always around each other at ATF. I was always crushing on him from afar, he had no idea lol. Eventually we spoke about our feelings for each other and in 2018 Derrick and I began dating, I knew he was someone I could spend the rest of my life with, but at the beginning I also had to be very transparent with the risk of carrying a child and not putting my life in jeopardy anymore, especially since I now have a child who relies on me. He is 6 years younger than me and of course wanted a child but it wasn’t a deal breaker. Five years into our relationship and we both are finally at a place in our lives where we feel good about bringing in a child. Derrick deserves a child and I wish I could be the one to carry for him as this is such a beautiful bond between husband and wife. My daughter Isabella would love to be a big sister and would make a great one. And I would love to have another child to complete my family, I am finally with the man that I want to build my future with. A man who knew what he was getting himself into but knew together we’d figure it out, whatever that looked like. And right now, that looks like surrogacy is our best route. I will be 40 in January and as you know, the likelihood of being successful in IVF goes down rapidly the older you get. We’ve began the process to see if we are good candidates for IVF and we are. We have wonderful friends and family who have offered to carry for us, but we have to complete the final step with IVF and that is retrieving the egg and freezing and storing the embryos until we know who our surrogate will be. We have been praying and have faith in Gods plan for us, what is meant to be will be. Thank you for taking the time. Much love, The Ross’s!