Help grow our family

gardner, ks (US)
Created 2 weeks ago
Fertility Treatments

Help grow our family

by emily dengel

Rated 0 out of 5
  • $7,500.00

    Fundraiser Goal
  • $0.00

    Funds Raised
  • 9

    Days Until Launch
$0.00 raised of $7,500.00 Goal

Campaign will start in

gardner, ks (US)

emily dengel is organizing this fundraiser.

Campaign Story

Hi! We are the Dengel family; Kevin, Emily and Elsie from Gardner, KS. We would love for you to read our story and if you feel connected or inspired with it we’d appreciate any support and prayers you are able and willing to give. Whether you are family, friends, acquaintances or strangers we would love for you to join in our team.

As many can imagine, struggling through infertility is like a roller-coaster with so many highs and lows. The grief and heartache with infertility is unimaginable to the naked eye. Many just say take a break, drink some wine, go the beach, etc. Others just see it as sad and hard but unless you have battled infertility personally you will never fully comprehend the wounds that are forever engraved on your heart. There will always be triggers around you whether it’s current or past struggles.  I knew from a very young age that one day I would want to be a mom. I had always envisioned myself with 4-6 kids. Now it has lessened to the hopes and dreams of 2. I couldn’t imagine going through this type of heartache 6 times. Like any preteen girl starting your period was awkward. Growing up with a mom who was regular with her cycles, I just always expected that the cycles would come every month and for me that was not the case. It was evident by age of 14 that something was different. Almost 4 years had passed, all of my high school years to be exact and never once did I have a period. My mom took me every summer to an OBGYN with concerns and yet was told “she’s still young” “her body is just figuring it out” “she’s active with sports.” Finally, my senior year the OBGYN decided to do a more thorough work up and diagnosed me with PCOS. She recommended starting birth control. It was a relief to finally have some answers however the future had a lot of unknowns. In 2014, my husband and I met online. From the first time we meet I knew he would be the one I would marry and one day start a family with. When you approach a new relationship with “so I might not be able to have kids and/or expect to struggle” you obviously have no idea how one will respond and yet he stuck with me. I have constant fears and doubts, despite endless support and reassurance, that he would leave to find someone that could easily provide him with children. The hamster wheel of emotions are never ending. After the first 2 specialists we saw didn’t work out we finally found our dream team. Learning that we never had a full and proper infertility workup from the previous reproductive endocrinologist was alarming and frustrating. It was like we were starting from ground zero. It was discovered that I had several things that affect one’s fertility. After 1 cycle with our new physician, we conceived. Becoming pregnant finally after several miscarriages was equally as frightening as the journey itself. Enjoying pregnancy was not something I had imagined it out to be, instead I was expecting to be defeated at any moment. Each week passed and we were closer to our end goal. On September 11, 2019, we welcomed via c-section our daughter Elsie. Seeing her, finally holding her was more than we could have ever imagined. She is simply the best thing ever. I’ve always been one to trust my gut in situations and I called it from the heart every cycle if it would have “worked” or not. I knew the day of the IUI with Elsie we would see our baby. I said to my husband the day after she was born, I know this journey was hard, but I feel like next time will be even harder. I feel like we will have to do IVF. Struggling for a second time is way harder than I ever expected. Having old fears, emotions and doubts resurface as new bigger ones is overwhelming. Baby shower invites are gut punching. I dread hearing and seeing pregnancy announcements. It’s confusing to feel happy for those and yet sad at the same time. Timing is overwhelming. Finances are overwhelming. Emotions, both healthy and unhealthy, are overwhelming.  Questions are overwhelming. Friends, family and coworkers can be overwhelming. The morals and ethical decisions associated with IVF is overwhelming. Everyday I feel like I am letting everyone down. I’m living in a constant state of fight or flight. Even with medication, meditation and therapy sessions, I feel defeated, isolated and alone. After 2 more miscarriages, 6+ rounds of IUI, it’s evident that IVF is our final hope. Realizing you do not have any fertility benefits is frightening. Doing IVF when the cost of living is rising immediately sends me into panic mode and how are we going to afford this. The mind racing and what ifs consume my every second. My husband is currently looking for job opportunities that would provide fertility support however jobs in our area that he qualifies for have some but not complete coverage. Even with the coverage we would still be financing nearly $12-15K+. Becoming in such a financial slump is terrifying. I am really struggling with the idea of debt and yet no guarantees. If no baby results from IVF we are still accountable to pay back the loans. The thought of making monthly payments with no happy ending is a hard pill to swallow. We are holding out HOPE and TRUSTING  the Lord that we are making the right decision. I lay in bed at night worried that fertility loans will consume us and we will not be able to provide Elsie with the life we envision. I’ve never been one to show all details of our lives on social media nor have I ever had to ask for financial support. Putting this out there puts me in an extremely vulnerable position full of all sorts of emotions. We know we have a ton of family and friends out there willing to cheer us on. Just know that some days I’m down to talk, other days I’m private. We appreciate any and all assistance to help lessen the financial burden we will gain over the next several months. If you have read this far and are unable to assist, we completely understand and ask that you think about us, pray for us, dream for us every day until our family is complete.