Campaign Story

Hi my name is Crystal, I am 38 years old and had 2 miscarriages and then a stillborn…. My stillborn was in 2012 …I became angry,depressed, I couldn’t evrmen look at, sleep in the same room as or even talk to my partner…. which led to seperation after 16 years of being together.
We were so in love , but the heartache of the miscarriages were so hard on me then when I got the positive test the 3rd time , we waited for it again but after the 1st trimester I started to get excited…when I felt the first movements I was over the moon . I went in labour 3 weeks early which my obgyn said was fine because he was weighing by her examination almost an 8 pounder she said and everything was great… all my tests, I felt great… We were so happy, We found out he was a boy accidentally, my sister knew just in case I really wanted to find out but she told my husband and I had a feeling she did because he was so curious and knew she knew and one night we were sitting in bed about to go to sleep and he said we should start the nursery soon for “him” …. I said Him?.. He said well or her but I could tell by his mischievous smile he knew… I was extremely happy ethier way… So the next day we spent alot of money on supplies for his nursery and he did it all himself….. So to the night I started to get labour pains, I woke him , He asked am I sure ..I said No! I’m not sure but I need to go to tbe hospital where they confirmed I was 5 cm dilated..waited 4 more hours and didn’t dilate anymore so the dr broke my water to speed it up which 3 hours later almost 9cm … tbe drs said the baby was positioned right and was ready to push …so here we go!… 2 big pushes and they said almost there and 1 more push … I knew something was wrong because they were looking at each other and were somewhat whispering … they just told me the baby’s heart rate was low and hes almost out so too late for c section so they put the heart monitor on his head and said okay Crystal one more big push …So I did it…. and the said here he is …and I heard its a boy…. but then they were saying get this …get that … I couldn’t hear a cry… I asked my partner what is going on who was standing in shock… they put the oxygen on him and in an incubator…worked on him in the same room as I was freaking out… , they were trying to calm me down… Then which felt like hours was only maybe 30 minutes later they told me and asked if I wanted to hold him… I begged them to tell me how this happened, they said his heart just stopped and nothing i did or anyone did could of prevented this, that he was very healthy otherwise but during labour his heart rate was rising then it had a significant drop… I held him for an hour skin to skin , Hoping he would take a breath but I realized he was gone and Told him I loved him and mommy will see him soon and now he’s with his 2 other brothers or sisters….I immediately got my tubes done after that which I now regret so much, I was clearly depressed and never wanted to feel that pain again , so my only option now is reversal or ivf and success rates of live birth is higher with IVF… Drs say everything is normal with me but the costs are so much…If I got this funding I’d have a high chance at success and would hopefully get to have my rainbow baby…. Anyone out there if you can help with even 5$ would mean the world to me…I dream of holding my son or daughter in my arms someday and raising him or her to be an happy, so loved and appreciated child…
Thank you for reading my story ❤ ? ♥