Campaign Story

I’ll share a bit about myself, since we’re still writing our story… After all, I’m the one fighting for my future family…for the sleepless nights, teeny fingers and toes, first steps, first words…all the booboos, crushed cheerios, missing socks, muddy hair…and all the love, heartache, and milestones in between…My husband? Well, let’s just say he’s more of a silent fighter, but always right there with a safety net.
I’m an empath with a young heart and an old soul who takes particular notice of the small things. I wholeheartedly believe actions speak louder than words. (Except for these words…I hope you hear them being shouted from the rooftops!). I love to keep my hands and mind busy with crocheting, floral arranging, gifting, thrifting, antiquing, and enjoying the outdoors. Not to mention snuggling with my fur and feather babes. I think pierogis should be one of the five main food groups, and I’m a sucker for a good dad joke. (Are you Irish?…No! I-rish! hahaha!) I have four very important, irreplaceable, men in my life; my husband, step-son, brother, and uncle. I equally have four women I couldn’t imagine living through life without; my grandma, mother, aunt, and sis-in-law. Although, as of late June, my grandma – my best friend – is now watching over me from heaven. They are my tribe! Not without a friend or two to lean on or enjoy the rollercoaster ride with of course. I grew up surrounded by family and everything was made to be a special occasion. I was adored by my four uncles (especially the eldest! Lucky me!), admired by my mother, and loved unconditionally by my grandma and aunt. My great gram, as an honorable mention, was heaven all wrapped up with a bow…what I wouldn’t give to be in her arms again and have her guidance through all of this…may she look down on my life in awe. My brother, unknowingly to him, has been and will always be one of my best friends. Same goes for my sis-in-law. I looked forward to having a big family when I got older and continuing the family-oriented traditions around holidays and milestones. Life, however, had a different plan and as we all grew, we drifted apart. Leaving my heartstrings fewer, but ever so stronger, with those near and dear to me. I’ve learned to love harder and fuller with every trial and tribulation. To forgive and trust that everything happens for a reason. I’ve learned so many lessons about self-worth and how to cope through some of the most traumatizing experiences of my life, to say the least. Life has brought me to my career as a pediatric nurse, to a fulfilling marriage with my husband and step-son, and to what I believe is my life’s purpose…motherhood. I’ve only gotten to experience “motherhood” with fur-mom, step-mom, nurse-mom, nanny-mom, and granddaughter-mom capes thus far. Oh, and most recently, foster-fur-mom. But I truly believe there is more in store for me. I feel like I have an overflowing amount of unconditional love and joy that’s meant for a child with MY young heart and old soul. I couldn’t be more grateful for all the “mom-capes” I’ve already been blessed with. I wouldn’t trade it for the world! Not to mention getting the opportunity to love and be a part of raising my soon-to-be-17-year-old stepson! I’ve been in his life since he was 4 years old. Such a kindred and witty spirit. He would be an incredible big brother and best friend. I hope he has the chance to love and bond with a sibling the way I got to with my brother. To have a piece of “home” to explore new paths and walk through life with. Someone to not only adore, but also look up to after they’re grown, and visa versa. I want to give my husband another reason to cherish our marriage, home, and family we continue to create, build, and grow. I have admired his enthusiasm, dedication, empathy, and all-around nurturing ways as he’s fully embraced fatherhood over the years. He continues to amaze me as he navigates this crazy life with me, all while keeping us at the center of his heart and priorities. I wouldn’t want to raise a family with anyone else! I have spent nearly my whole life putting others first. I sheepishly thank my Mom and Grandma for that, as they have done the same. I wish they would have loved and prioritized themselves more. Perhaps, in turn, I would have learned to set the bar higher, put boundaries in place, and trust in myself a lot sooner in life. Maybe I wouldn’t be facing the fertility struggles I am now had I not doubted what I was worth and believed in my purpose earlier on this path. But here I am…with heartstrings tight, love overflowing, and the passion to live life to the fullest regardless of the mud or mountains ahead. I’m no more worthy of a candidate than the next…we’re all who we are, hoping to have the chance. We’re all fighting for our future family. I’m simply here trusting everything will unfold the way it’s intended to. If the pups have any say…they’ll be swapping nose kisses with baby bum by next summer! I’m ready for my Mom cape!
That’s just a glimpse though, right? Since you’re here, I might as well be a little more raw with you and share some of the trials we’ve been through. I had a natural miscarriage at 6 weeks just over a year ago, no luck conceiving for nearly 9 months, and a failed IVF cycle (they had me terminate after my first ultrasound because the embryo wasn’t growing and they were concerned it was an ectopic pregnancy) which resulted in a D&C at 6 weeks. We only had one healthy egg to transfer. Which means we were instantly thrown right back to the bottom of the mountain. I’ve exhausted almost all of my $15k “lifetime infertility max” through my insurance. We have a $10k loan we took out for the remaining IVF costs and have maxed out credit cards on over $4k for meds. My husband’s insurance doesn’t have fertility coverage unless there is a medical reason that needs to be surgically “fixed”, and even then it’s not fully covered. I had additional genetic testing done after the D&C and the results came back as “normal male”. Those words alone knocked the wind out of me. It not only leaves us with no answers or sense of direction, but also makes it real…a boy that could have given me my Mom cape. Normally I’m a jump-up-brush-it-off-and-try-again kind of gal. My husband and I both have that way about us. However, this loss sucked the remaining life I had out of me….having just lost two of our fur babes, my grandma, my dad, and then our soon-to-be-baby-bum all within 30 days of each other…it’s a lot to take in. A lot of loss in such a short amount of time. A lot of despair, but a lot of growth as well. Grief has a way of forcing you to face it all head-on, without the rose-colored glasses, and fight for your life as you feel like it’s being ripped away from you. I’ve spent nearly my whole life putting others first. This past month has not only forced me, but taught me how to put myself and my family first. There are only a select few that know about our fertility journey, which now includes you. We have been very careful to not allow our dreams to fall amongst the negativity of toxic people in our lives. However, one thing all of this recent loss has taught me, is that sometimes it takes a bigger tribe than what you have on hand. I’ve been the voice thus far for my family, with their guidance and trust, and I’m using it now to ask the universe for another chance at fighting for life, fighting for our family, fighting for the Mom cape that I’m certain is waiting for me. We need your help getting back up this mountain…we need more than a tribe, we need a village!
<3 Be well! ~ The Maresch Family