254Days to go
Damenia Graham is organizing this fundraiser.
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mother. I would rock my baby dolls to sleep with a lullaby and change pretend diapers. As I got older, I became the neighborhood babysitter and spent my weekends watching the children on my block. It only seemed natural that I found my way into a career as a nurse, caring for mothers and babies. The one thing that didn’t feel natural though, was my inability to become a mother myself.
I had planned it all out: the month to start trying, the pregnancy test I would take, the day I would test and even how I would tell my husband. My husband, Brion, and I were together for three years before we began trying to get pregnant. We have been together for a total of 6. Almost 7 years. We had settled into our dream home and finally decided we would grow our family. We had saved money, planned ahead and thought we had control over the situation, but we were so very wrong.
When I didn’t get pregnant right away, I was a little surprised. Contrary to what I remember from high school sex education, getting pregnant may take a few months. Well a few months turned into a few more, and week by week my frustrations grew. I had tracked every cycle, checked my basal body temperature at 6 a.m. and peed on countless ovulation strips all to result in another negative pregnancy test at the end of the month. At the two-year mark I sat in my general practitioner’s office in tears as I handed her a color-coded calendar of our failed attempts at pregnancy.
I felt as if I was broken. I had based my entire career on caring for mothers and babies during their pregnancy, labor, delivery and postpartum period. I even taught childbirth classes for expectant families — Growing my own family should be something I was good at. I saw hundreds of babies born week after week and getting pregnant seemed so easy for these families. Countless mothers asked me if I had children, as if my education would only be trusted if I were a mother myself. Friends and family began to make comments about why we had not gotten pregnant yet. If only they knew how hard we were trying!
After thousands of dollars and numerous of failed attempts here I am. Looking to get donations for fertility treatment. Please help my husband and I do what we have been so desperately trying for.