My Journey to Motherhood
My Journey to Motherhood
0Days to go
Jacqueline Scroggins is organizing this fundraiser.
Hello, my name is Jacqueline. Please take the time to read my story below.
Where do I begin? It all started back in February 2018, and I chose life! It took me what seemed like forever to discuss the cause of my depression and anxiety because I am a very private person, but now I’m ready to share my story.
I have dreamt of being a mom since I was a little girl and the dream continued into adulthood. Unfortunately, carrying a baby naturally is no longer an option for me. Back in December 2017, I was told by my doctor that I had an unhealthy uterus, as there were cancerous cells present. Once I received this information, I knew I had to make a choice between life or what could possibly have meant death. This proved to be extremely hard for me. I was in turmoil because the decision involved me losing the part of my body that I needed in order to carry a baby. It was the only thing I could think about on a daily basis. In my mind, it destroyed my chances of becoming a mom. After many tears and much consideration, I chose life!
On February 2, 2018, I had a hysterectomy. My uterus and cervix were removed, but my ovaries were spared. From that day on, my mental health began to rapidly decline. I ended up in a very dark place, mentally. It began affecting my daily life. It was hard for me to go to work or even be out in the general public. The only thing I could bring myself to do was go to work and return home once my shift ended. I can still recall my first follow up appointment with my doctor. I had an emotional breakdown as I sat and watched a lady walk cheerfully into the office with her new born baby. All I wanted was to experience that same joy, but it seemed like a goal that I’d never achieve. I went through moments of blaming myself for being in this situation. The hurt and anguish I felt, nearly destroyed me. I refused to discuss it with anyone because it hurt too bad. However, I knew it wasn’t a healthy state of mind. I eventually sought professional help to grieve the process and cope with my new normal. Though I have come a long way in the healing process, I still can’t talk about it without crying. I’m choosing to do so now, with the hopes of gaining support to help me reach my goal of becoming a mom. I also hope my story reaches other women who may be going through a similar situation and offers a glimmer of hope.
During this journey I was presented with alternative options to reach my goal of motherhood, but I wouldn’t even consider them. The options were adoption or surrogacy. I eventually chose to pursue surrogacy and recently began the lengthy process. My close friends and family all know that it’s not easy for me to ask for help and it’s generally something that I tend to shy away from. I have always done my best to get whatever I’ve needed on my own. For this situation, I decided to set my pride aside and ask for help. Though this is an expensive process, I feel that this is the best route for me. I have prayed about it and I’m optimistic about the end result.
If you can find it in your heart to donate to my cause, please do so. All donations are greatly appreciated. No amount is too small. If it is not in your heart or your budget, I ask that you keep me forever in your thoughts and prayers.