Campaign Story

My husband and I have been married for 7 years now. And have been together for over 12 years total. We worked hard through college together trying to build this perfect life together in the future. We talked about the excitement of getting married and having our kids. We were nothing but excited for our future together. We got married in 2018 and I also graduated college in the same year. There we were excited that school is done, job is secured, saving for our home and just enjoying marriage. Just like a checklist everything was going so perfect. Then after we got our house and started for a baby naturally. We got pregnant! Two straight red lines staring at me and excited to just share with everyone about this amazing thing we really wanted. It was like a dream come true and another win to check off our list. We told our parents and immediate family members at 6 weeks about how excited we were. Then it came time for our first ultrasound. Now this was during the time of COVID and they only allowed the patient in the ultrasound room. My husband and I understood so I went and tried to take pictures for him. I was so excited waiting in the lobby, excited to see this life that him and I made. I’m having so many good conversations with the staff and smiling because nothing compares to the joy you have knowing you’re pregnant. I get called and told to take my pants off and pew in a cup. I do everything and get comfortable on the bed next to the machine. I have my phone ready and all. Ultrasound technician comes in and starts going at it. She’s inside, I see black and white and the tiniest little bubble. I was getting excited and just waiting for the ultrasound technician to start getting excited for me and share what she’s seeing. 1 minute goes by and she hasn’t said anything to me. It’s quiet. Another minute of silence. Then another. At this point I’m thinking is she having a bad day or is it that she can’t say anything. 2 more minutes of silence goes by and I just had this feeling where my heart just stopped. I had this feeling that she had bad news. She asks me to put my pants on and that the doctor will be with me. I go back into this room with the ultrasound technician. She leaves me. I’m sitting there for 15 minute by myself. I can hear them through the door talking about my scan. The OBgyn comes in. She sits down and tells me that there’s nothing there and that this may be a blighted ovum. That’s when everything I knew was good and anything good that can happen turned dark. I couldn’t think straight at all. I’m alone without my husband and everyone is texting me for pictures. My sister in law blowing my phone up with emojis having fomo that she didn’t get pics. I’m here hearing that we aren’t pregnant. The obgyn bless her heart was patient and talked to me about what is going through my mind. I’m sitting there just wanting to go home. She asks me, are you okay?! I go yea, I just want to go home. She said yes please take the time. My husband couldn’t believe and I was stilll in disbelief too. We went to have D&C. Then tried again. That one ended again in a miscarriage. The second miscarriage I let happen naturally. The worst pain physically, emotionally and mentally. We then decided to go with IVF despite us working so hard and financially not ready we thought together as a couple let’s give it a shot. So we did. The first transfer, we were hopeful. But that ended with no success. Then the second transfer. We had nothing but positive signs after our transfer. They say you shouldn’t test before the actual blood test but I still did it. 5 days after transfer a striking two lines so strong. This time I peed on it and gave it to my husband. So he knew before me. I asked him to not show me until he saw first. He didn’t it and not even 2 minutes after I peed on it he showed me because he saw it. When he should me I went straight to my knees crying hysterically. So there I was happy. Feeling like I’m finally going to be a mom and carry our child to term. Ivf nurses did my bloodwork and I have their voicemails saved saying my numbers are looking perfect! I felt on top of the world. Then a week later on a Sunday. I used the bathroom and saw some faint pink blood when I wipe. I thought this is normal. It stopped. Then it came back again not more or less just there. I’m googling and asking my friend whose pregnant and they say it’s normal. Later that evening, I started to feel a bit warm. My husband and I are getting ready for bed and I lay down. I coughed and there I felt it. This gush of fluid and tissue. There wasn’t much pain but I knew something wasn’t right. I went straight to the bathroom and then boom. My world yet again for the 4th time coming to a pause and leaving me feel like nothing ever good comes my way and that I’ll never be a mother. This was the worse pregnancy out of the first 3. I had hoped to see this little person in the world to now sitting on a tissue in the bathroom. I saw the sac and I just broke down. My body did this to you. My love, my heart and my world. All in my hand. All my husband and I want to be is be parents. So we’re trying IVF again. This time with funds so low from previous visits and er visits we just ask for donations to meet our offices policy to pay off everything before we can do another transfer. Please help us get closer to being parents in this world. It will help us get closer to our miracle baby. I hope my message connected with parents like my husband and I. We want nothing more than to bring this child into this world and show them love. Thank you for your time and donations.