A Baby for Carey & Greg
A Baby for Carey & Greg
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Carey Arneson is organizing this fundraiser.
This is extremely out of our comfort box (asking for help)… but a lot of what you deal with when you are labeled with infertility is hard, unfamiliar, out of our hands and simply scary to know that you don’t have control and especially sad when money controls what you can and can’t do. So this is me (Carey) taking control and telling our story. Greg and I have been together for 20 years. And for those 20 years, off and on, have been trying to grow our family from 2 to 3.
We started our fertility journey pretty quickly as we were both already in our late 20’s. Being young and somewhat naive, we saw 2 different fertility doctors which both performed IUI’s (7, I believe, all unsuccessful). With also little to no extra testing. We did find out that I had hyperthyroidism and was hoping that was our key to why we weren’t getting pregnant. Since I have been pregnant before (with ex that ended in a miscarriage at 16 wks gestational) I knew that I could get pregnant. With little to no extra finances available, we prayed our pregnancy would happen naturally.
Fast forward to 2018, we finally established enough to seek help again from another fertility clinic! After testing, we discovered that I had endometriosis and the quality of my eggs were diminishing. Heartbroken that this wasn’t discovered earlier, we know moved to donor egg. Sad, scared, excited we ended up creating 4 embryos to use! Our first transfer failed. Optimistic (yet disappointed) we knew we had 3 embryos left! Cycles were canceled because lining wasn’t optimal or medication protocol wasn’t correct, or another polyp was discovered and needed to be removed, the year 2019 seemed like a blur. Until October 31, 2019 – transfer #2 – POSITIVE!!! We were beside ourself with happiness that is was working for us, until 6 weeks later and it didn’t.
Then 2020 Covid hit – maybe it was the break we needed, but with every month going by the harder it seemed to be positive. But I’ve always had the deep feeling that I would be a mom. Transfer #3 another negative.
Our doctor suggested doing an ERA, which resulted in me needing more progesterone before a transfer. With this bit of information, we prepared for our #4 transfer. Mentally, physically and emotionally – we were ready! June 26, 2021 – transfer #4 – POSITIVE. We couldn’t believe the miracle growing inside me! We made it until 16 wks gestational age when we found out our baby had a genetic condition effecting his kidneys (which wasn’t producing amniotic fluid) his heart was beating too hard. After seeking a second opinion, we knew that Owen wouldn’t survive the outside world and we lost him at 20+2 weeks. I’m not going to lie, that was the hardest and most difficult experience we had to go through – but Owen gives us hope. Hope that we can get pregnant and that hopefully we will have a living baby to join our family.
This is why I share our story, to hopefully have a little help in making our hope grow into a family. And to advocate to others to make sure you ask questions and seek the answers you are looking for. If you are at the end, thank you for reading! Hopefully sharing will help others step out of their box as well!