Campaign Story

First and foremost, I like to preface with the discomfort and rawness of all of this, but…here I am!

Gender roles mirrored my story as I grew up in a patriarchal home where the idea of machismo within Mexican culture viewed women to be domestic, inferior, and uneducated. Because of this background, I once approached the thought of becoming a wife and a mother with fear, distaste, and weakness.

I have accustomed myself to working hard toward my independence because of my cultural upbringing.  I had always prided myself on handling my own problems. Therefore, vulnerability & weakness were not characteristics I was familiar with in this regard.  I consider myself an anomaly in terms of the traditional route of women in my culture.  At the same time, I lived in silence for the last seven years about my infertility diagnosis and was totally unaware of my advanced maternal age.

At thirty-five years of age, I realized that I was not the one making a choice not to conceive. I wrestled with that reality and the need to rely less on myself and more on God & others.  Now, as a single 43-year-old female who never married and is in transition professionally.  My healing journey has provided space and insight to draw my own conclusions about womanhood and readiness for motherhood.

In 2014 I was made aware of the negative findings of my Hysterosalpingogram. I was diagnosed with endometriosis and left tubal (fallopian) blockage.  According to Dr. Nezhat, endometriosis is a whole-body disease that often goes unnoticed/dx and is not only part of the reproductive system (Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh, July 28, 2021). Endometriosis impacts 10 percent of women where tissues grow outside the uterus, causing severe menstrual pain, inflammation, and infertility (Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. 2018, July 24).

After some time of gathering myself, I followed the recommendation from the doctor to undergo surgery in July of 2014 that would remove the endometriosis to support higher success when entering in vitro fertilization (IVF). I was uneducated in this new journey and naively believed all the recommendations. After recovering from surgery, I returned to my doctor feeling confusion, disappointment, doubt, and truly not comprehending the IVF process. This visit seemed vastly cold, clinical, and lacked empathy.  I recall wanting to feel reassured and comforted at the moment. However, instead, I felt like a number and part of the daily routine rather than feeling validated as a woman and a person.

After not feeling supported by my previous doctor, I decided to google other Fertility Centers in California. I came across Fertility & Surgical Associates of California. After being diagnosed and attending a second facility, walking in my own skin had not been easy. When I learned that a part of me was incomplete, it created an immense sense of uncertainty and hopelessness and was filled with shame.  I walked around as if everyone knew that I could not bear a child. Becoming aware of the financial expense(s) and what it would take for me to attempt my journey into motherhood, I put a halt to my IVF process. Four years later (2018), I was able to find a lower-cost IVF center in San Luis Obispo and began IVF. I experienced three unsuccessful cycles and graduated to the egg retrieval process.  I retrieved seven eggs, and on day two, two did not make it. After a few days, I was informed that four had successfully fertilized. In December 2018, I experienced a failed transfer of my two sweet frozen embryos. There were no words but rather overcome with much grief and desolation. Once again, it was something no one nor I dared even to murmur.  The loss was absolutely ambiguous.

Reflecting now, I was so unaware of my process. Since then, I have been connected with multiple platforms and a new doctor, giving me a better understanding of the next steps moving forward in my process.  It is my hope, given my advanced maternal age and my two sweet embryos, to begin treatment again with the new fertility center.  I am asking you to consider donating or what you feel called to give to help me fund my infertility treatment, knowing that nothing is too small.  Your donations will assist in half of my treatment cost (i.e., Medication, IVF, preimplantation testing, and frozen embryo transfer).

In closing, I would like to extend my utmost gratitude for your time and interest in reading my journey into motherhood.

-Susie Romero

References

Egg Whisperer Show, Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh, July 28, 2021. Endometriosis and Advancements in Laparoscopic and Robotic Surgery with guest Dr. Camran Nezhat, 2021.

Endometriosis. Mayo Clinic. Retrieved April 30, 2022, from the web.