Campaign Story

Our story, part 1, and it’s a long one…

In 2008, when Jason and I met, one of our very first conversations was whether or not we wanted more kids. Because I did. He was open to it. We both brought kids into the relationship. I had Hannah, who was 10. He had Jason, who was almost 14, and Sarah, 11.

A year later, we decided we would start trying. I told my gynecologist who immediately sent me over to a Fertility Specialist. I asked why. I had never had any problems. He said because I had not “accidentally gotten pregnant in over a year” and he knew I was not on any birth control. I went along with it. Then, he hit me with, “and Jason will need a semen analysis.”

Bummer. I knew he’d never go for it and, oddly enough, I didn’t even know how to ask him to. He called me on his lunch break and asked about my appointment, so I just told him. Much to my surprise, his response was, “whatever it takes.”

We met with the fertility specialist, Jason had his semen analysis, and I had several tests, scans, a laparoscopy procedure, and lots of bloodwork on different days. Apparently you test certain things on certain days. The results were in!! Nothing was wrong with either of us! So then, that begged the question, why hadn’t we gotten pregnant?

The fertility specialist, known as an RE by the way, put together a plan for us. We were going to do Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), known to some as artificial insemination, or the “turkey baster method”.

I would take pills on specific days, other pills other days, a shot on a certain day, and have bloodwork throughout the entire time. Then, when the time was just right, I would come in for the procedure.

The pills. Made. Me. CRAZY. OMG. And the stress. The schedule is crazy. Take this pill now, these pills later, this shot now, no sex between these dates, have sex on these dates…!!!???

Then, wait 2 weeks. Negative. What? Ok. I was so upset and heartbroken. After the 3rd failure, I was crazy. I don’t see how people take all this medicine and keep their sanity. Hormones are manipulated and you can be up and down. The RE told us we could try 1 more time and then we would need to move on to IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). There was no way. We didn’t have that kind of money, and I couldn’t take the pills and hormones any longer.

We would try the IUI 1 last time. We went through the whole process again, for the 4th time. I hate the 2 week wait. But, no choice. Positive. What? POSITIVE!! The excitement!! Then the RE does more blood work, ultrasounds, and tests for a while to make sure everything is ok. And it was. Perfect. We were released to our regular doctor with baby on board.

Then, 12 weeks early, baby Caden made his entrance with a list of problems.
Our story, part 2, and it’s a long one…

When Jason and I decided to have a baby, we decided to have more than 1 because, we thought, if we were going to start over, let’s have a couple of siblings that get to grow up together.

But baby Caden had a lot of neurological problems and wasnt even expected to live. Then, they told us if he did make it, he would be a vegetable his whole life.

With baby Caden’s health as it was, we decided not to try for more babies as we wanted to be able to properly care for him.

In 2013, baby Caden was medically cleared neurologically. Calling it nothing short of a miracle, his neurosurgeon said he no longer needed to follow him.

Our next stop, the Fertility Specialist.
Our story, part 3, and it’s a long one…

From 2013 – January 2020 is kind of blurry…but I’m going to try to sum this up.

We started treating again so we could have Baby S. In this 7 year time span, we would find ourselves at 3 different Fertility Specialists, 1 in another state. I had test after test, procedure after procedure….one thing that everyone concluded: there was nothing wrong with me.

We ended up going through the IUI process 12 times. 12. Some were like before and some were “medicated” where we added in stimulation medicine to try for success. That meant, more visits, self injected shots daily, plus the same as before. After all of those failed, we moved on to IVF. IVF is everything magnified. I was giving myself multiple shots a day, timing everything. It’s stressful. I mean, cancelling trips because you need to be seen, giving shots anywhere….public restrooms, airplane restrooms, the car…you name it. It meant Jason having to also give me shots in my butt cheek at specific times, no matter where we were. It meant pills at certain times…different pills at different times. Blood work, ultrasounds….IUI’S were cake in comparison!!

IVF is kind of 2 stages. The first stage is “retrieval”. It is where you basically are growing eggs in your body in preparation for them to be removed and fertilized, then incubated, outside. We went through this process 3 times before January 2020.

After retrieval, you “transfer”. This is where you take the now fertilized, 5 day incubated “embryos” and put them in your body. We did this 6 times over this time span with 8 embryos.

Not even a single positive pregnancy test.

With the exception of March 2018 – June 2019 when things happened in our family that took priority, this was our life.

We racked up nearly $200,000 in expenses and nothing to show for it. We borrowed against our house, saved money, took out loans, whatever we needed to do…and all for nothing.

In January 2020, we decided we were going to do this one last time before calling it quits.
Our story, part 4, and it’s a long one…

In January 2020, we went back to our Fertility Specialist. We explained that this was our last chance and asked if there was anything different we should do or any other tests to give us the best chance.

No, she told us we had done everything.

Between January and March we did our IVF retrieval process…I started with bloodwork and pills. Added in shots. Ultrasounds. Labs. More shots. More pills. Shots in my belly. Shots in my butt cheeks. Jason had to provide a sample to freeze, just in case he couldn’t give a fresh sample on retrieval day. Then he had to give a fresh sample on retrieval day.

I remember feeling so bloated and my pants not buttoning up.

Retrieval day came and they retrieved 21 eggs!! An excellent number for a 40 year old!! They were sent off to be matched up with Jason’s half of the DNA and then sent to grow.

17 of them fertilized, which is also normal. Now we just needed to wait until they were 5 days old and see how many would grow into beautiful embryos.

Day 5 came. Only 4 made it. While that was a blow and a low number, they were all 4 a high quality according to the doctor. And we only needed 1.

We just had one little speed bump. Our Governor literally just shut down all non-essential procedures due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I was considered non-essential. We were going to have to wait.

I told my RE that since we were going to have to wait, I wanted to send my 4 embryos off to be genetically tested. She questioned me as they all looked so great. But I wanted more information. We had been through so much. So we did. What we found out next was mouth dropping, shocking, unreal, I don’t even know what other words we could put here.

All four of my embryos were deformed. And severely so. And this has been my problem the entire time. Furthermore, we were able to confirm my infertility cause. I have DES exposure. That could be a whole other group. But, the basic description is, my birth mother took a hormone known as DES while pregnant with me that caused my infertility. Period.

That was it. Our world crumbled. We had an answer to years of questions. But then we had more questions.

DES exposure. It was never considered because I’m young to be a first generation exposure. And in order to be a second generation affected, my birth mother would have had to been exposed and she was not. DES was discouraged in the early 70’s inside the states. But, it was used until 1981 on the military base where my birth parents were stationed at my conception. So, it just never was considered.
Our story, part 5, and it’s a long one…

Now having a cause to my infertility, my doctor told us of a protocol that is very promising with positive results.

I can’t get into the details of the protocol, but Jason and I talked about it. For a while. We didn’t know if we wanted to go through it or not. We researched it and talked some more. We had said the last IVF was our last chance. But now we know why and how to fix it. Ultimately, we decided to give it a try.

We ended up meeting a couple of people along the way. First, a lady named Diana. She is a key person on my team. Without her, I don’t think I could do this. Then there is Jennie. I need her to vent and cuss and cry with. Her and I can talk about everything and figure it all out. My RE, definitely Fran the bloodwork lady, and my husband complete my team.

So, now we have all the answers and are ready to go. You probably know what’s next…by the way, it’s June 2020. Pills, shots, bloodwork…my husband gives me shots in the car, in parking lots, in public bathrooms…wherever we are when the time comes. We try to plan around them, but don’t always get to. We are excited again!! We haven’t been excited in years!!

Then the big day comes!! We call it “transfer day”. It’s the 2nd part of IVF where we put our embryos inside of me and get pregnant! Yay!! My friend Tara made me a special shirt and socks for this day!!
Our story, part 6, and it’s a long one…

Now we wait 12 days for our pregnancy test and bloodwork. We continue shots in my butt cheek every day to give my body the extra help it needs for our baby to be perfect. For the first 2 or 3 days, I’m on mostly bedrest. I just lay around and stay calm…then take it easy until the test.

Day 10. I am cramping bad and bleeding. It is a Saturday and my appointment is Monday. It continues. I take a pregnancy test and it is a very light positive test. But something isn’t right.

On Monday, my doctor draws blood and I am pregnant, but it doesn’t look good. I get more blood drawn Wednesday. Sure enough, I’m losing it. It’s what they call a chemical pregnancy (a miscarriage under 5 weeks). She explains to me that when these happen, it’s where the embryo implanted but just couldn’t take off. She explains that when this happens, usually something is wrong with the embryo.

I don’t know how I feel. I’m not really upset as I’ve had nothing but let downs for over 7 years. In fact, I got pregnant!! So that’s an improvement! A step in the right direction.

I talk with the doctor about testing my remaining embryos that are frozen. She says it is very stressful on them to thaw them out, test them, refreeze them, and then thaw them again when needed. They may not survive. It’s also almost $5,000 to test half of them. I take the risk with half of them, leaving the other half in case they don’t survive.

2/3 of them are normal. Another positive. I’ve never made normal ones, and the average statistic is 1/2 normal.
Our story, part 7, and it’s a long one…

Immediately, we prepare for another transfer. This will be transfer #8 total for us.

If you were thinking, more medicine, more shots, and more bloodwork, you are right!! Here we go again…

I’m pretty sure I’m not going to get to transfer this time because out of nowhere, I start bleeding…so more trips to the doctor!! But, all is well!!

I transfer with a friend that day, so we will go through the wait together!!

Bedrest. There I lay for 3 days. My friend wants to test on day 8, so I agree.

A light positive. Here we go again. I test the next day, definitely positive. I call the doctor because I don’t have enough shots for the weekend and need to order if definitely positive. She brings me in. Definitely positive!! Blood work reveals a good number! We are hopeful! She congratulates me and sends me on my way. Come back on Friday for more bloodwork. We want the number to double. It did!!

Everything is happening!! We finally did it!! I’m being extra careful until my 1st ultrasound. I start getting morning sickness. But I am not complaining!!

August 28, 2020. Feeling completely normal with a house full of kids, I go to the restroom. I won’t go into details, but definitely doesn’t look good. The doctor gets me in immediately.

Ultrasound shows a sac and my bloodwork shows the baby is there. My blood count is low though and I am sent home to bed until Monday. My shots are increased. The bleeding pretty much stops and I think we saved it!!

Monday. Ultrasound reveals the sac is gone and bloodwork shows so is the baby.

My doctor tells me it’s not me. It’s my embryos. She still says I don’t need any more tests. I’m tired, I’m worn down. And I’m upset….we were doing it.

I get a new doctor. I will see her September 10.

Now that you are caught up, I’ll post updates as they are available.