Start A Family With My Husband
Start A Family With My Husband
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Claire Lee is organizing this fundraiser.
Our Story To Start A Family
Ive Been Together With My Husband For 21 Years And Married For 16 Years. Our journey to start a family has been a roller coaster ride since 2009. Its been a very emotional stressful time I’ve ever experience in my whole life. I’ve always wanted to have a family of my own. Especially once I met Jeremy. When I first met Jeremy and got to know him better I knew I wanted To Marry Him and have him be the father of my children. I never knew it would be this hard to have children. If I knew that I would of tried early. I figure when we started dating in my head it will happen when it happens. I didn’t know that anything was wrong with me. But once we got married we tried and tried nothing happened.
Everyone was telling me just relaxe it will happen when you don’t expect it. So 3 years passed since we got married not pregnant. We finally went to see my doctor and she referred me to a infertility specialist. We met with the doctor in 2009 he ordered a bunch of test and did ultrasounds. Turned out he said I have a condition called PCOS Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Due to lack of Ovulation. That’s from taking birth control which messed up my menstrual cycle. I would go months without having a cycle. Basically became irregular cycles. And they found one of my fallopian tube was blocked. So I had to schedule procedure to have it unblocked it.
That procedure went well cleared the blockage. Doctor said everything will go good from here. We had to wait 1 month to start treatments. 2010 Which now started to take oral medication Clomid. Which we finally got pregnant with that. But ended up miscarriage right at 3 months mark. That was the roughest time in my life. I took it the hardiest my first pregnancy asking God why I never did anything wrong. My heart fell crush into piece. The one thing in life I ever wanted was taken from me so fast felt like a blink of an eye. Well when I had to go hospital for procedure Dr. Said it went well. I should get pregnant again I’m young and since I got pregnant it will happen again.
So I had to wait a couple of months to start treatments all over again. So a couple months passed when started treatments again. Now taking medication called Femara and injections this time with Ovulation injection as well. Multiple tries no pregnancy. 2012 Finally again I got pregnant the second time. We Started try with IUI which is for intrauterine insemination. Everything was going well. Doing lab work every week to check baby progressing. They started to notice my blood levels were dropping. They weren’t doubling as it should. I ended miscarrying when I went to use the restroom. So I had to do another procedure again.
Which dr. Order to diagnose to check baby what was wrong why did it happen again. Results Unconcluesive. Nothing was wrong. Nothing showed abnormal. So again we waited a month or two to start treatments all over again. My feeling started to scramble all over again. Praying everyday like really why is this happening to Me again. So one more try with medication Femara and triple the amount of injections and injection to trigger my Ovulation day. Injections were cheap we spend almost 2,000 on injection medication.
2013 So we gotten pregnant again which was awesome no bleeding everything was awesome my lab work was Super awesome doubling again. Doing lab work every week. Went to our first ultrasound to see progress. That visit was great saw our little tiny bean baby saw heart beat flickering. Almost 3 months started to spot again. Went to see emergency appointment to ob/gyn doctor. There were 2 sacks. We’re having twins. My I was miscarrying one of them that’s why I was bleeding. But the other one was ok. So I had to keep doing lab work every week until I see my infertility doctor. Lab work was fine. Until my check up came. Lost the second twin baby. No heart beat at 3 months.
So had to go through another procedure.
They did test again to see what was wrong with baby. Test came back nothing abnormal. This was the roughest one off all my pregnancies. First we were told were pregnant with twins who would of known that. Then take one from me. And take both now away from me. I felt really lonely sad confused. Felt really bad for jeremy. In my head like it’s not him its me.
Something is wrong with me. I question
GOD did I do something wrong. Am I getting punished and why. Why’s GOD not wanting us to have a baby blessed to us. Now our follow up appointment with our infertility doctor.
We’re now seeing Dr. Harris IVF Specialist Doctor.
He now told us we tried all the treatment Possilby before taking the last step for IVF In Vitro Fertilization. So we’re now at that point. But we told our doctor were going t take a break. We have to save for IVF treatments which will cost us over a lot of money. So we saved some money aside. Waiting 2 years we now can go ahead start planning for IVF treatment. IVF treatments conclude many doctor appointments and Ultrasounds and treatments and a whole lots of medications which are injections I have to inject myself. I think that’s the most fearful thing of all. I’m scared to inject myself hate fear of needles. Now we’re in 2016 now we seen our IVF doctor starting to plan our treatment schedule. Our visit was good he explained every single detail and plan. So he adviced us will be transferring one egg. Kaiser policy for IVF if the first try not sucessful we get 3 tries we don’t have to repay to start IVF treatment again kaiser covering that. Even if we miscarry they still pay for another cycle of treatment. So say we recovered 3 or more eggs they will freeze them for us. So we pay for nothing kaiser takes care of it. Hopefully 1st cycle will work. Were now seeing a perinaologist to control my diabetes. And preconception nutrition nurse to help me control what I’m eating daily. There both here to help me start fresh to start before conception and during when I do get pregnant.
So we’re now set up for November for our IVF procedure. We paid full Amount for our IVF treatment. Since seeing our doctor in april. Shout out to My greatest dearest sister help me start on herbalife to get myself back to getting healthy and to get to that weight I need to be at. Since then I have lost almost 20 pounds. And my A1C Test for diabetes has went down to 5.8 from 6.9 and my level are at 120 from 151. And my IVF team are very proud. I stuck to my plan and gut. So we can have a successful treatment. It was not easy very hard. It’s been 1 year I haven’t had soda my favorite Gingerale. No candy desserts sweets. Can’t eat what you love so much. But healthy is the main priority now.
We want to have our baby so I will do everything in my power to have that blessing gift Were working so hard for. I now know I’m not the only one going through the tough patch in life. There many women and men going through the same problem. I’ve been reading a lot of blogs people subscribe to on infertility, Pcos. I never got the courage to tell my story. I’m shy and very private about our life and my situation. Sometimes I feel ashamed because I can’t give my husband and baby. What GOD intended for women to bare. Seeing everyone around me having babies. Why not me. I cried and cried sometimes to myself to sleep, in the shower also when I by myself. I felt so angry inside.
Fearing this will never happen for me. Having that fear being motherless. Felt I was heading to a dark space In life. Didn’t know what to do or where to go. I basically been keeping this balled up inside me until now. Stressing a whole lot wasn’t healthy for me. I sit there blaming myself its all my fault. Questioning what will happen if this never happens. Will Jeremy leave me. I know I shouldn’t think that. I keep reading blogs online about this happening to couples. Also some couple failed there first IVF cycle. And 2 to 3 tries and failed. But also some had success on there first try. Maybe that’s my problem I’m always looking reading stuff online. Jeremy always tell me stop looking up stuff online. Not everyone like that. He keeps telling me everything will be ok. Don’t be afraid everything will fall into place. So here we are now.
Working on staying healthy staying positive. Keep negative thoughts out. Waiting for November to come. And start our Journey to success. Will we get our prayers answered, will we finally get our happy ending. Will we finally be complete. Miracles can happen in do hope it will for us. Positive thoughts we have to keep in mind. I have to keep thinking and saying to myself. Dr. Harris said IVF has a high sucessful rate for us. We have to save up again to start all over.