Infertility: The Stigma Ends Here

There’s a light that shines in the darkness. There’s a destiny waiting at the end of the road. There’s meaning in the middle of this emptiness. There’s a reason you’ve been asked to carry this heavy load.”

-Justin Farley

Inspired by #NAIW, this month we are focused on breaking the stigma associated with infertility. By sharing our stories, we not only bring greater awareness to infertility but also provide hope to those going through it. Infertility is like a heavy weight on our shoulders, a weight that we carry everywhere we go. This burden we did not ask for, nor do we understand, and yet, it is ours to carry. The shame and the stigma are difficult to walk with but just know you are not walking alone. There are many brave men and women sharing their stories with the world on a daily basis. Their stories inspire us and motivate us to keep going down our path with hope in our hearts. They are breaking the stigma and we’re here for it.

Keep scrolling for infertility stories we loved this month.

Elle King

In a recent Instagram post, singer-songwriter Elle King bravely details her experience with pregnancy loss while announcing that her rainbow baby is on the way.

Her post reads: “…We are very excited to share the news that we are pregnant. This news comes with a great deal of fear, and I hope that all mothers-to-be, in whatever sense that may be, know that I am trying to be very sensitive. You see, this miracle baby comes after two very big losses. It’s a terrifying and extremely painful experience for everyone. But the sun always rises, and I never really let go to let the universe decide when I was ready. I remember every pregnancy announcement felt like a dagger to me. So I want to be very delicate and say to YOU! That soon-to-be mom, who’s maybe had a loss, or has been struggling with fertility, I’m telling you, our babies come. And I love you. What women go through on this journey makes us nothing less than WARRIORS.”

Abbe Feder

Abbe Feder, is a blogger and infertility advocate that frequently posts about her own journey; a journey that brought two beautiful rainbow babies into the world. Recently, she shared her thoughts on her journey, how it impacted her personal relationships and the stigma associated with it.

Her post reads: “I don’t feel badly about some of the relationships I lost due to my infertility. There were close friends and even some family who fell to the wayside because they were awful, or insensitive, impatient, rude…I’m shocked by the survivors guilt I feel daily. Even on the other side of my insanity, with the worst of it in the rear view, I feel so deeply connected to this community that I feel weird about sharing photos, talking about my kids, celebrating. I’m working on it. There’s pros and cons on both sides…I hate pregnancy announcements. Always have. Worse during #ivf…”

Blair Nelson

Blair Nelson is the host of “Fab Fertility”, a podcast on all things fertility which we detailed in our last blog. You can see more about it here. Her social media pages provide a healthy dose of infertility advice, resources, and inspiration with a fab spin. For National Infertility Awareness Week, she shared her thoughts on her personal journey.

Her post reads: “No one told me #infertility would change me forever…It has taken away my blissful ignorance about conceiving a child. Long gone are the days of thinking tracking ovulation on an app & having fun sex on smiley face days will result in a baby. Now I know getting pregnant “naturally” is a damn near miracle. I’m more in tune with my body than ever and I have a deep-rooted appreciation for life & modern science. I am slow to judge, much more empathetic, & my marriage is stronger than ever. Through sharing my story and the stories of others I’ve learned how much I can help. My life’s purpose has been redefined bc of infertility.”

Krystle Breaks The Stigma

Krystle, a lawyer and blogger from Toronto, uses her social media following to share her thoughts on fashion, food, and fertility. She chronicles her journey to parenthood and doesn’t hold back.

A recent post reads: “…TBH, this fertility journey can at times be overwhelming and exhausting…With the blood tests, the ultrasounds, the clinic waits, the tracking & monitoring, the acupuncture appointments, the reading, and researching, it is most definitely an all-consuming process. With each appointment, new facts, and a new set of considerations to go along with them. After expending all the mental and physical energy, I’m usually not in the mood to share, speak, or even think sometimes. I have so much to be grateful for: I live in a province that has government-funded IVF. I’m at a clinic where I have access to excellent care and direct access to funding (unfortunately in a system that doesn’t provide equal access). I’ve learned so much more about my reproductive system and feel empowered to be able to make the best decisions for myself. Most importantly, I’m surrounded by support – my husband, my family, my friends, my doctors, and my online community included (thank you all)!”

Hali Johnson

Hali Johnson, an Instagram influencer is documenting her IVF journey alongside her husband, Kels Johnson. The duo crowd-funded their IVF costs, which in a day and age where insurance still doesn’t cover fertility treatments, we applaud their creativity. They are truly breaking the stigma and carving their own path!

Hali says: “Journey to baby johnson(s)! IVF journey step one complete! Courage in the form of taking the first official step in our IVF journey to meet our sweet babies!! IVF can seem & be so isolating & dark but it’s not a death sentence. & bc of that, we believe God has called & trusted us to share our journey w/ you & walk w/ you through it. as wildly difficult & scary as it could be, I will be shedding light on the whole process! here we go!!

step 1: consultation with your IVF doc! this can seem so much more intimidating than it is, trust me I know! I was so anxious, I didn’t know what to expect. so here’s what to expect: you will discuss your entire medical history & the whole treatment process {injections, stats, risks, next steps} a good dr. cares about the details & an incredible doctor like ours will make you feel v [comfortable] & at peace! + I am here w/ you. you aren’t alone.”

Everyone has a different infertility journey, but we all have a common goal: to be parents. So, don’t be afraid to share your story. Your message will resonate with someone, and it may be exactly what someone needed to hear or see to get through their day. So, write your story; together, we can break the stigma.

We’re here with you every step of the way!

Our next grant cycle is now open for applications. Deadline is June 15th. Click to apply.

Help spread the word!

We know that money is tight for everyone right now, so we don’t make this request lightly. If you are in a position to help, please do. If not, please spread the word.

-Gift of Parenthood


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